


Every time I missed you I fucked up my guitar

by sparetime_when



Category: Gorilla Interrupted (2003), RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Requited Love, dex cries a lot sorry, dex's dad is an asshole, mentions of abuse, no beta we die like grig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparetime_when/pseuds/sparetime_when
Summary: Dex should have thought about what comes next, instead he let it all build up into this inevitable breakdown, Sid or college.
Relationships: Dex/Sid (Gorilla Interrupted)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Every time I missed you I fucked up my guitar

**Author's Note:**

> ah so this was supposed to be a quick one shot but instead I re watched gorilla interrupted and then the ben and arthur spotlight and kept thinking about writing more, 100% self-indulgent im a 6ft3 punk and my gf is a 5ft6 star trek nerd so naturally sid/dex

The lab was a mess, papers everywhere, the only sound being Dex sniffing. He sat slumped over in the basement, Dex had been crying for what seemed like hours, overthinking everything. He picked up one of the papers, a letter, off the floor,  
'HARVARD COLLEGE OFFICE OF ADMISSIONS AND FINANCIAL AID'  
Dex threw the paper, he already read the letter several times and could probably recite it word for word, same for the other letters thrown across the floor. He could feel more tears slide down his face. He remembered filling out for each and every one of the colleges, it had felt like such a long time ago. Everything seemed like an alternate reality. When he was with Sid he didn't think about the future, he just wanted to be with him right then and there, he cursed to himself. He should have thought about what comes next, instead he let it all build up into this inevitable breakdown, Sid or college. Sid didn't know about any of this, he didn't know about Dex filling out for every prestigious college and he definitely didn't know that Dex was in love with him.  
Dex knows he couldn't stay in this moldy basement forever working on projects and fixing Sid's guitar but he couldn't just leave Sid. Dex's head throbbed, his heart ached and he felt nauseated. He was exhausted but the tears wouldn't stop. And that's when the punk poser himself kicked open the door and stomped down the stairs. Dex hurried to wipe his face, knocking his glasses off in the process.  
"Sid! are you crazy, it's one in the morning, you're going to wake up my dad!"  
"Fuckin relax mate, your dad's car is not here he's probably off getting drunk, what the fucks going on around here, you having a pity party and you didn't invite me" Sid blared in his god-awful fake English accent.   
How was he in love with this asshole?  
"No, I, shit, where's my glasses?" Sid got closer picking up one of the pieces of paper from the floor.  
"Wait, No, Sid, Stop!" Dex got to his feet trying to pull the letter from Sid's hand, it wasn't even worth it Sid is half a foot taller than him.   
"Dear Dexter Ballwanker, on behalf of the admissions committee, it's my pleasure to offer you admissions into the... M.I.T… class of 2004." Dex could hear Sid drop the accent, Dex willed himself not to cry, he could barely make out Sid's face without his glasses on.   
"I wondered if you had uh had filled out any college applications"  
"My dad made me do it" it wasn't a lie his dad had thrown college brochures and letters at him and basically told him to get the fuck out of his house. Everytime he went on a drunken rant he'd threaten to kick him out.  
"So MIT?"  
"Not just MIT, there's Harvard, Princeton, Caltech"  
"California?, Are...are you gonna go?"  
"I don't even know if I want to go to college at all"  
"Are you crazy!"  
"What?"  
"Are you insane? Caltech wants you, you could leave this fuckhole of a town and never look back."   
"What, you don't want me around anymore?"  
"What?"  
"Just nevermind, do you see my glasses anywhere?" Dex got on his knees and searched for his glasses stopping himself from looking at Sid, the tears in his eyes made it impossible to see.

"They're right here" Sid gets on his knees in front of Dex, picks up the glasses from under one of the letters. Dex holds out his hands but Sid slips the glasses onto Dex's face instead. Dex can't make eye contact with Sid or he might say something he regrets. He watches as the envelope under Sid's knee comes into focus, California Institute of Technology. Dex can feel himself starting to break down again, tears fall from his face.  
"Dex?" He falls on to Sid, wrapping his arms around him under his leather jacket, it reeks of cigarettes and sweat and he loves the disgusting smell. He tries to stop shaking but it's no use.  
"Dex?"

"Just, just let me have this, please?" Sid hugs back pulling him closer. Sid's never held him before and Dex doesn't want him to ever stop.  
"You don't have to go all the way to California, maybe some place closer? You're so smart and stuff man, the community college doesn't even what me and Harvard is all over your skinny ass. You don't have to go alone, we can go and leave this shithole town together."  
"together?" Dex mumbled into Sid's shirt   
"Yeah, if you want, we can live in some shitty apartment together, there's more gigs in college towns and if that doesn't work I'll find a job while you go to school" Sid's full on rambling, trying to find words that'll calm Dex down.  
"You'd, you'd do that for me?"  
"Yeah, I'd do anything for you" Sid held Dex tighter, the cheap carpet floor was cold and started to hurt Dex's knees but Sid was so warm. Dex didn't know he could fall deeper in love with Sid, for a second it felt like he had everything he ever wanted. Dex finally pulled away and looked at Sid.

"I don't know what to do, I can't decide"  
"Then I'll choose for you that way if you hate it you can blame everything on me and hate me for the rest of your life" Sid looked so sincere and all just made Dex feel worse.  
"Sid you don't understand"  
"What don't I understand? it seems pretty fucking simple to me. We buy a van, some piece of shit that'll get us to wherever you want, you can do student housing while I live in the van saving up money for our apartment and we can figure shit out from there." Dex wanted to say yes, he always said yes to Sid but he couldn't, not this time.  
"Sid it not that simple, ok"  
"Why?, why isn't!" Dex couldn't take it anymore the tightness around his heart was too much to bear any longer.  
"Because, because I'm gay and, and in love with you ok! I don't just wanna be your friend or roommate I wanna be your boyfriend. I can't hate you, I've tried ok and, fuck, I just want to be with you. And do you want to know why I've been here, crying all night" Sid stood up and tried to help Dex up off the floor but he pushed him away. He stumbled to get up, feeling light headed from all the crying.  
"Dex" Sid worried that he pushed Dex too far, that he wasn't actually in love with him, that Dex was just staying shit to make him leave.  
"No let me finish, I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I left you, you would hate me or worse that you would just forget about me while I was in some pretentious school hundreds of miles away crying over you." Dex tries to make it to the stairs after realizing what he just said. Sid grabs his arm before Dex could make the first step.

"Sid, please, I'm sorry" Dex is full on crying now and starting to hyperventilate.  
"What, I'm not gonna hurt you Dex, I promise, shit, I'm sorry, where's your inhaler?" Sid lets go of Dex to look for an inhaler on the floor, he panics when he can't find it. He checks Dex's lab coat and thanks God when it’s there. Sid uncaps it and hands it to Dex.  
"Dex I'm sorry I shouldn't have grabbed you I'm sorry" Sid tries to talk him down.  
"I, I, do you know how many times I broke something on purpose and came here to have you fix it?"  
"I don't understand" Dex's words are shaky but at least he wasn't having an asthma attack.  
"Hundreds of times, the first time with the guitar was an accident, I was so pissed and I came here and you fixed everything, so every time I missed you I fucked up my guitar and every time you'd be here, you'd talk shit about me snapping the strings, my gigs, star trek. I came here tonight cuz I just had the worst gig in my life, the bar kicked me out and I just wanted to see you"  
"you're just making fun of me, is this some kinda trick, some sick joke?"  
"Dex no, Dex I" the sound of the front door slamming stops Sid.  
"Shit my dad's home, he can't know you're here, you have to hide" Sid can see the anger switch back to fear in Dex's eyes, he lets Dex grab his hand and pull him to the lab.  
"Just hide here please" Sid does as he's told. Dex closes the door, Sid can hear him trying to pick up the papers off the floor.

"Dexter get your ass up here, you left all the fucking lights on" the yelling comes from upstairs, the words are slurred.  
"Yes,yes sir" Dex makes his way up the stairs, turns the lights off and closes the basement door behind him. Sid can't make out any of the words being said, he can tell that Dex's dad is the one yelling and stomping around. The yelling stops, Sid waits, worry tying knots in his stomach. He'll kill the old bastard if he lays a finger on Dex. The basement door opens and Sid holds his breath.   
"Sid?" Dex is in front of him, Sid opens his eyes not realizing he closed them when Dex had shut the door.  
"He's passed out on the couch"   
"Did he hurt you"  
"No, not this time"   
"You wanna crash at my place tonight?"  
"What?"  
"I mean, shit, I mean, I don't know what I mean Dex, I'm not joking around with you, I promise, I don't want you to stay here not when he's here, just come to my place get some sleep and we can talk in the morning?"  
"you don't have a place"  
"I've been crashing at Grig's since he disa-"  
"Was obliterated"  
"-peared, ok yeah obliterated"   
"Sid you should just go and we can act like this didn't happen"  
"No, I don't want to" Sid steps forward and leans down, his face now just inches from Dex's  
"Sid?" He didn't want to get his hopes up but he could feel his heart beating faster the closer Sid got.  
"I'm so pissed at myself, I could have had you this whole time, I almost kissed you months ago after that bar fight, you cleaned up my nose and made sure that asshole didn't break it, I wanted to so badly but I was drunk and you were mad at me for drinking in the first place."  
"Is that why you stopped drinking?" Dex looked up at him wide eyed.  
"Yeah"  
"I was mad that you got hurt" Dex closes his eyes as he tilts his face up. Sid closes the gap between them, he slips his hands under the lab coat. Dex's glasses dig into his face. It's a sweet simple kiss and its everything Sid wanted since freshman year, he pulls away slowly.  
"Let's sneak out, I've got ice cream in the freezer and ds9 on dvd"  
"kiss me again so I know you're not joking" Dex says out loud without meaning to  
"ok" Sid does as he's told to do, this time he deepens the kiss, Dex wraps his arms around his neck pulling Sid closer. Dex stops the kiss needing to breathe.  
"Which season?" It takes him a moment to understand what Dex is asking  
"All 7 of them" Sid can't help but smile when Dex grins up at him.

**Author's Note:**

> i havent posted on ao3 in ages i hope the formating is ok  
> thank you for reading im working on a chapter 2 i hope to post it soon but i have no idea what 2021 has instore for me  
> you can find me on tumblr @ sparetime-where (in all honesty you should check out haventyouhadenoughjay cuz they have top tier mike/jay ideas)


End file.
